there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
