I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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