New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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