whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
