Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
