how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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