i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i dont even know how to be here
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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