I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Randomize
