...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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