Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
