And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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