the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
