I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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