I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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