i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
