Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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