Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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