It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize