so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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