Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
vagina is talking i cant
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
