I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
