he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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