Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
