'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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