Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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