Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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