peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
