I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
