I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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