So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
