then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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