You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I will die if light touches me.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
You smell like stripper and shame
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
