their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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