I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
