I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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