There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
