My friends, they love my intelligence
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Randomize
