My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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