All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize