some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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