this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
My pussy is not your playground.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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