who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
