wanna go halves on a baby?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
