is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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