i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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