Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Randomize
