hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
