You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
