Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
