I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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