whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
