I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
