He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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