I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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