All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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