why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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