i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
