ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
