Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
