Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
