they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize