they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
