She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
