i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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