I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
