I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
