My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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