I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
